Good to hear from you. Thank you for your question.
Divine law on marriage may be stated in three simple
points: A person may marry if never married before (as Adam
and Eve, Gen. 2:24; Matt. 19:4-5), if his mate is dead (Rom.
7:2-3), or if he put away his mate for fornication (Matt.
19:9). In short, God’s law of marriage says one man for one
woman as long as the two live, the only exception being that
an innocent party may put away a fornicator and marry
another mate. This law of God applies to all mankind and to
all cases.
When husband and wife walk off from each other, they sin
by violating the marriage vows taken before God as primary
witness and thus binding as long as they live (Mal.
2:14-16). Each one is responsible to reconcile or remain
unmarried (1 Cor. 7:10-11). Each one is laying a stumbling
block for the other by remaining apart and refusing to
reconcile. If one remarries, the other mate who may be
waiting and hoping for that to happen is guilty of CAUSING
the adultery. Jesus said in Matt. 5:32 that whoever divorces
his wife CAUSES her to commit adultery. Rather than being
free to repudiate the mate already repudiated, the one who
CAUSES another to sin is accountable to God for the sin of
causing someone to sin (Matt. 18:1-6). This is the "waiting
game" and "mental divorce."
I would add this word of caution. There are many
difficult cases, tangled scenarios, etc., which none of us
can solve to the satisfaction of everyone, and which can
generate endless controversies if we allow ourselves to
become obsessed with such questions. First, we should always
emphasize the three simple points constituting God's law
which apply to all people and all cases. Then, we may
discuss our judgments and conclusions about difficult
matters in a spirit of study and mutual respect, but we
should avoid the spirit of factionalism over our judgments.
The individual parties who may actually be involved in such
difficult or complicated situations, and the local churches
which may be called upon to deal with them, will have to
settle them as best they can on a case by case basis. No one
can enumerate all of these cases and settle the details for
everyone.
I am forwarding several articles for further study on
various aspects of MDR. You will notice my constant emphasis
on the three simple points constituting God's law which
apply to all people and all cases. That is where I keep my
focus.
Sorry for the delay in answering. I am snowed under with
work preparing to leave Mon. for a meeting in CA, then
moderate for Larry Hafley in the debate with a Baptist the
following week in CA, then return to the Philippines (hope
to be home Apr. 30). Please keep me in your prayers.
May God bless you with many years to proclaim the gospel
of Christ in its original purity and simplicity! May God
bless and keep you til we meet again.
